Every Day Struggle Leads to Celebration…I Guess

Today is Mother’s Day and it’s definitely a special occasion, and it’s not one I mind celebrating. For the last almost 21 years, my mother has been superwoman, as most single mothers tend to be. She did what she had to do as a mother with little to no help from our fathers. As we get older and we mature and grow together, certain things that a child of a single mother sees his or her mother go through begins to take its toll on both parties.
Being a college student I continue to watch her struggle, possibly more than we ever have, and it hurts me more and more to just see her “do what she got to do” just to get by. I always remember this quote “One thing a black woman know how to do is make” but I just always wonder when will it end for her. I know sacrifices are a part of motherhood and she’s done more than her share of them. And for me, they don’t go unnoticed. I sit at my desk or on my bed at times and just think about how me being in this expensive school is helping to keep her in the same place she’s been for years. Whether she believes it or not, I sit at my desk wondering how I can help her…with no income (yeah that’s really gonna happen).
Mother’s Day is always descent for us, but I just want to know when it’s going to get better. When will Mother’s Day not be the only day she isn’t stressing about anything for more than a few hours at time? I graduate in a little over a year (May 13, 2012 to be exact) and I only hope that will be one less burden she will have to deal with. I continue to try and make myself a better person every day because of her. I work my behind off every day, especially while at school, keeping my grades, getting involved, and growing and maturing in fear that I will add on to the hurt and disappointment she’s endured. I NEVER want to disappoint her and I pray that I don’t. She’s done and gone through entirely too much raising two young women in this day and time to hold her head down in shame because one of her girls has disappointed her.
One day. One day. That’s all I can say.

Happy Mother’s Day

Hi guys.

Today is a special day, especially for the mothers. I am surrounded by women, who are wonderful mothers in their own ways. I have my grandmother, Odessa Strawbridge, my mother, Lisa Strawbridge and my aunt or “Aunie”, Tonyia Strawbridge-Skinner. Though these are not the only ones, these are the ones I remember being there ALL the time. Mother’s Day is a special occasion which, every Real mother should enjoy. I hope you have/had a great day.

Me and my Mommy

For My Grandma. Happy 69th Birthday My Love!

My Grandma. A rare and special breed that everyone happens to love no matter how it is they may meet. She blesses me with her presence each and everyday. Whether she is there physically or through her spirit, I know that she always around..or at least a phone call away; especially these days. It can be her sweet spirit or demeanor or her nosy nature, but I know one thing for sure. One can’t help but to love this Southern woman of “Finer Womanhood” with all your being.
Always doing what a grandma is supposed to do. She spoils all of her grands, but being the oldest, I can definitely say we have a special relationship. From Maryland to South Carolina to Atlanta to Kentucky, she was traveling buddy. I even went to school with her my first few years. She is one of the reasons I learned what a real teacher was. Some of her students still contact me on Facebook to see how their Mrs. Strawbridge is doing. (She taught 3rd grade). I won’t give it all away because next year is the big 70, but Grandma, because I know she is going to read this, have a Happy Birthday with many, many more to come!!

Sorry again guys!!

I know I haven’t posted in maybe two weeks and that is something I am trying to fix. As you can see I am trying something new with posting my poetry. I started this because eventually I would like to publish this stuff and what I’m publishing on here is not all I have. I just like to post the stuff that won’t make the church folk blush (if you what I mean). I cannot say enough please comment. comment, comment. Tell me stuff that you want to see on here. Remember the blog is called Free Expression, meaning that it is not limited to any particular subject. I talk about what I want and I talk about it the way I want.

To My Granddaddy…Happy 70th Birthday!

Me and Granddad (Day of Graduation)

Granddad, it’s hard to believe that you are 70 years-old, but I unfortunately know it’s true! Born November 10, 1940, so we have no other choice but to believe it. My grandfather is a special man. In my 20 years on this earth, he has done things that a Grandfather shouldn’t have to do. His job was to spoil me and give me thing things that my mother thought I didn’t need (which he did), but he also took on the role of a father. Not only in my life, but in my little sister’s as well. Though we struggled with not having our fathers around, Joseph Strawbridge’s strong presence made up for it most of the time. So many memories come to mind as I am writing this because though he is a tough man, he loves his family and especially his grandchildren.

Through the years, especially the 14 I lived under his roof, I could remember going to prayer meeting every Wednesday in the back of his white Ford pick-up, even on cold evenings. Afterwards we would go to McDonald’s only for him to yell at the people about not filling up his super-sized fries and his coke with no ice. For the longest time those people knew who we were when we walked in the McDonald’s. They didn’t even have to ask what we were in there for and this was when we weren’t with him. It was always “You related to Elder Strawbridge?” as we put our heads down in shame, only to laugh. Mallory, you remember these days. Those were good days when I really had no worry, because if it wasn’t my Mommy, Grandma or Aunts giving me what I needed, I knew that Granddad would have me. Even when it was something he didn’t agree with. (He’s old school y’all, so you can only imagine.)

Then there was eighth grade year when I was a part of Rose Court and he was the one to escort me in my cotillion. (Though he wouldn’t do the dance, as much as I begged him) I laughed at it, even then, because I knew he wouldn’t do, but they always taught me that the worst answer I could get was “No.” I was always glad that he did that as well as came to things like Grandparents day, because then I never felt the void that I should have. I even laugh at the time when I tried to get a job at Six Flags and he looked at me like I was crazy and asked me wasn’t I too young to work? (I was 14 and looking for my own money to spend)

My Grandfather is one I wouldn’t trade for anything! Though some may not know him to be so, he is actually very funny and sweet. As grandchildren, I feel like we have a special connection and get the dirt that the children will never think to ask their parents. Over the years that I was working in high school and he was taking me from home to the salon, I heard those stories and I got that dirt. Some stories were funny and others I just couldn’t relate to because of the generational gap, but it was all good times nonetheless.

A lot of my peers aren’t able to say that their 70 year-old grandparents are moving around like they are much younger, but I can. He even said the other night when I called to wish him a Happy Birthday, that he has to remind himself that he isn’t as young, as do we, especially in the summer time. He even still thinks that girls are looking at him when he comes to pick me up from school. My Granddaddy is just one part of what makes up my heart. If one knows me, they will see quite a bit of him in me, including his youthful spirit.

Granddad I love you sooooooooo much and I am going to stop now because the eyes are getting quite watery.

Coming down the Jungle Gym Summer'09

This is the best song I can find to describe even an ounce of the love I feel for my Grandfather.

Kerry Washington is Back!!!

Kerry Washington is helping Essence Magazine celebrate its 40th anniversaey with the November issue. On the cover, Washington sports a red, white and blue ensemble to celebrate America. Something Washington also sports that is not the norm for her is a head full of curls. Not only is it talking about America, but there are headlines all over the cover that will empower, the youngest and the oldest reader. All about race, hair and the curves that give is so much trouble, but we wouldn’t trade for the world. Pick it up at you closest supermarket or book store! Below is a link to the behind the cover video courtesy of Essence.com

http://cdn.wbpp.warnerbros.com/u/essence/us/video/player/embed.swf

I Know, I Know

Me reppin the better HU (Hampton U)

I haven’t posted in the longest and I am trying to do better. I swear. I have been very busy with school work and activities. I want to better because this is like my baby. Of course it great that it is not a real baby because they way I’ve been ignoring it, child protective services would have been called already. I have some great ideas for upcoming posts about natural hair, general stuff in entertainment and how in love I am with being black! It’s all over the place right now, in everyone’s face about how to or why should embrace every that makes us that much more special! I just hope and pray that procrastination will not get the best of me as it has in the last weeks. Keep me in your spirits and if you are family or friends reading this, please tell others about this page and leave suggestions. I would greatly appreciate it and if it fits what I am trying to do, I am more than happy to incorporate new things into this blog.

Signing off,

Flawfulangel!

College Life

Getting ready to go out

As my sophomore year is coming to a close, I realize that I am happier than I’ve ever been.  There is no one person responsible for this more than myself and God.  Everywhere I go, I feel “Love All Over Me” (Monica) It’s a feeling I’ve never had before and I hope that it stay around for a very long time.  Though my happiness, next to grades is my number one priority, I have also come to realize how actually grown up we are.

I’ve matured in ways that I didn’t think were going to happen, especially not right now.  I’m opening up more to different people, which is something I wouldn’t have done two months ago.  Looking back, that is the only regret I have.  Not talking to people because I was afraid to let them in my world.  It’s actually not that bad.  I realized that I can’t stop what other people are going to do to me, no matter how much it hurts.  I will run into heartbreak and pain and I Have to let it happen.  It happens to everyone.

When you see me, give me a smile, even if I don’t look friendly.  Blame the cramming of these last few assignments and lack of sleep.  But I will smile back.

Learning to love,

Flawful Angel